I seem to have the most thoughtful, hilarious, and random conversations with my son (who will be four in a few weeks) when it's just the two of us. This past Sunday, I was playing hostess for a baby shower for my sister in law. The car trip to get there was about an hour and a half and I had decided to leave my baby girl with my parents because I didn’t think I would be able to handle both kids and do the hostess with the mostess thing. Plus, by the time we got my car packed…there wasn’t very much room left at all. Brayden is usually a pretty big help with just about everything, so I didn't think twice about him being my date/big helper.
We had been on the road for about an hour when we stopped at a Rest Area to use the potty. (Brayden had sucked down a blue slushy before we had left the Quik Trip Parking lot.) He had been watching a movie for most of the way, but after we were done – he decided we needed to talk. I wish I would have had a video camera on him for the rest of the day. Here are some brief snippets of our conversation(s) through out the rest of the day.
In the car, on our way to the baby shower:
Brayden: Mom, what is this shower all about? Is this baby really going to take a shower?
Me: No, a baby shower is where you shower the mommy with lots of presents for her new baby.
Brayden: Oh. Well, I still don’t know why Aunt Jammy ate that baby. She must have been real hungry.
Me: She didn’t eat the baby.
Brayden: Well, how did the baby get in there?
Me: Ask your dad.
Brayden: O.K. How does the baby get out of there? I mean, I was in your tummy right? Was Emma there in the same time? Were you great big?
Me: You go into labor and that's how the baby gets out. You were in my tummy, but not at the same time as Em. And yes, I was great big.
Brayden: Don’t tell Aunt Jammy that I said she was great big. And I don't know what labor is.
Me: O.K. I won’t and you'll know someday.
Brayden: I hope no one tries to take my blanky when we get there.
Me: Well, maybe we should just leave it in the car.
Brayden: No, I’ll just tell them that there is poop on it. That should keep them away.
Just a few minutes later, after I had taken the wrong exit, I pulled off to the side of the road to recalibrate the GPS on my phone. (Yes, we were lost.)
Brayden: Mom, are we lost?
Me: Yes we are. But don’t worry, we’ll find it.
Brayden: We never get lost when daddy is driving us.
Me: That’s because when daddy takes us someplace he has me in the passenger seat telling him where to go. I have a diaper cake in my passenger seat.
Brayden: Maybe you should switch seats then mom.
Me: That won't work -I have to drive.
Brayden: Oh my gosh, we will probably never get there.
Once I had the GPS set to go and was on the right path, I had to slam on my breaks at a straight to red from green stoplight. As I was screeching my tires, trying to avoid smashing into the car in front of me, this is the next conversation that transpired:
Me: Oh Jesus!
Brayden: You’re right mom! We should pray about being lost. That will get us there.
Brayden: Our father who art in Heaven….
(He proceeded to say the Lord’s Prayer, then look up and say:
Brayden: Nope – we’re still not there, better keep praying.
This continued about 5 more times, until we finally made it.
During the baby shower, Brayden kept the party guests laughing. (I guess I should hire him for entertainment). Surprisingly, he kept his clothes on and didn't beg to pee on a tree outside.
He made sure to let his Aunt know that all those cute clothes she was opening were not going to fit her:
“That is not going to fit you you are to big.”
She opened a pack of baby shampoo, lotion, and Desitin. And Brayden said:
“Oh that’s called butt cream for when you got a rash.”
And the lines kept coming. On the way home, he was pretty quiet (I think he was practically in a sugar coma after the 27 Cake Pops he had eaten.) As I was exiting onto the highway, he says to me:
Me: What buddy?
Brayden: You know you are the fastest car driver in the universe, right?
Me: Yep, I know.
Brayden: O.K. Just checking. I won’t tell Daddy though
Me: Sounds like a plan.
Brayden: Yep, and I love you.
Me: And I love you Mr. B - To infinity and beyond.
Tune in tomorrow where I'll share my favorite recipes from the baby shower and some pictures! Peace out - and thanks for sticking with me ya'll!