Thursday, February 16, 2012

Lady Parts and Emergency Socks

So today was my big annual lady parts exam.  Yep - that's right, my lady parts exam.  The only thing that I enjoy about this is I got to leave work two hours early and say "See ya guys Tuesday - I'm off to get my lady parts checked out."  I had been waiting all day to say that last line - I find myself humorous, some probably find me crude. 

It was my first time with my new lady parts doc - and she was actually quite awesome.  I was impressed as soon as I walked in.  I didn't have to pay a co-pay and any exam room that has a plush red velvety rolly chair in it is okay by me. 

It went as I expected until the "OK - go ahead and get undressed and sit on the exam table.  I'll be back in a minute."  I smiled and said "OK!"  And then as I stripped myself down, and had a slight moment of panic.   I realized that I had my husbands socks on - and they didn't match.  "Are you kidding me Cathe?", I thought to myself.  Please note,  that I freaking hate socks.  I wear a lot of ballet slipper type shoes because I hate socks SO much.  Even in the winter - I spray my flats with water proofing so I can wear them in the rain, snow, and sleet.  I hate socks.  This could also be why I can never find any socks that are mine and also why I only fold socks when everyone starts saying "Ummm...can you go buy us some new socks?  We don't have anymore."  I always reply "Yes you do - they're all piled in that big basket - go find a match."  Apparently I don't wear socks enough to find it neccessary to "fold them or match them".  Of course,  the day that I do decide to put on a pair would be the day that my feet are going to be the only part of my body that is clothed.

I had just a couple of minutes to decide what to do:  Do I take my husband socks off and bare my feet that were in desperate need of a pedicure?  Or do I leave them on and face the possible ridicule of a 28 year old adult wearing mismatched husband socks?  Time was ticking, so I decided my best bet was to leave the socks on and face the stirrups that my feet were about to be placed in.  I also decided that as soon as this appointment was over with, I was going to go by some new cute socks and store a pair in my purse for emergency situations like the one I was in at the present moment.

While the conversation during my exam revolved around some sort of potato skin appetizer from Applebee's and not my terrible choice in socks,  the lady part exam is over for another year and I now have my emergency socks, one pair which will remain in my purse for the rest of my life.

So, if you dare tell:  What is your most embarrassing Doctor office blunder??!


  1. Too funny! I've done the sock thing, but not at the doctor's office.

  2. Haha! Mine was probably when I had to go back (as a 21-year old unwed woman) because of a positive pregnancy test, and face the "I told you this would happen if you chose not to use a reliable form of birth control". She wasn't the most pleasant lady parts doctor, which made it doubly painful. Mostly for my pride. And especially because she was right! I have since moved and moved on, but my cheeks still burn red thinking of her "I told you so's".

  3. I always keep a spare set of socks in the cars for "emergencies." Some of the indoor kid play places make the adults wear socks too and if you don't have them you have to buy them. Not me!